Can I Show You My Vision Board?

I think it's pretty decent.

I’m absolutely a vision board girlie. I always smile when dudes try to “man” up the concept by calling it a “vision quest” or any other sort of planning and productivity, hustle culture terminology. It’s a craft. And I love crafts.

My incredible friend Jenny had a vision board party on New Years Eve during the day, and it’s going to be a tradition from here on out because spending all my energy during the day and then skipping parties to just relax into the new year worked for me.

See, last year on New Year’s Eve (2022), I bought some shelves on Facebook marketplace for $50 and went to pick them up. I then tried to stuff them into my car, and found that they were longer than my car could allow. Did that stop me from forcing them in and then slamming my trunk, and in turn breaking my own windshield? In front of the people I had only moments prior given $50 for the shelves???

It didn’t. I then sheepishly rolled down my passenger window, let the wooden shelves block my rearview mirror and drove home. I put the shelves in my garage, and then proceeded to cry through the torrential downpour LA’s otherwise pristine weather had in store for us. I wrote in my diary that night in 2022, “Why won’t this year end? How come LA is trapped in 2022?”

And that’s just par for the course for New Years out here. The shows on TV air live, so they just reshow Anderson and Andy getting shithoused like you hadn’t just watched it moments before. New York, New York doesn’t play and there’s no confetti. There are hella fireworks and from the sounds of it, car thefts?

I’ve fully digressed. Back to vision boards. This is my vision board:

My priorities this year are romance, writing, and career stuff. Everyone in entertainment has lamented this out loud, but it’s worth repeating that THE STRIKES WENT ON TOO LONG. If they had even ended a month prior there’d have been some irons in the fire for 2024, but now it’s kind of a bizarre hangover; it seems like everyone is scrambling to put something together to make up for all that was lost.

Privately I’ve considered how much more I’m willing to take. Los Angeles is who she is, and I am who I am and our compatibility is questionable. It’s more like a distant cousins relationship than friendship or anything resembling family.

So if I’m sticking around for a bit, I vow to stop talking so much shit and really try to find where I fit in (if I even do). I’m gonna try to *gags* hike. I’m going to go to dinner instead of just ordering in or cooking a vat of chili that I can’t share with my dog that will inevitably go bad and then I have to dump it all into a plastic bag that will drip and attract bugs if I leave it in the house but will do the same in the can outside. And I’m going to actually try dating...

I made this lemon pig. He would be a better boyfriend than any of the men I’ve been with so far.

No I’m not. I’m sorry I’m just not! If I meet someone while I’m working or at a party then I will absolutely meet up with them but the apps are over. I’m not increasing my screen time to look at a bunch of dudes.

But maybe I’ll just try to treat myself more romantically. Light a candle even when people aren’t coming over. Wear different yoga pants every day.

I also put “make new friends” on the board because I think part of my “one foot out the door” approach to LA living has to do with only knowing New York people who live out here. And we’re all in our own measure kind of on our way back east. If I’m gonna be rooted here I need people who are rooted here! And also people who can show me the really good stuff.

I kept this post for paid subscribers because frankly I think my vision board is pretty but I still find posting goals or whatever so super cringe. It’s like if I serenaded you with a song on acoustic guitar. It’s a lot of eye contact.

So here are my hopes for 2024: New energy, new seasons, new opportunities, new love? New money (In abundance).

What do you want this year?

A

P.s.: I don’t really do resolutions exactly, but I have one this year. This year I’m going to learn to sing 99 Luftballons in German. I don’t speak German, but who doesn’t love a party trick?